Mommy Guilt....

Lately I keep feeling an extreme amount of mommy guilt. I don't have the slightest clue where it's coming from but it's really starting to irritate me. I feel guilty as if I'm not doing my best as a Mom for Claire. I feel like I could be doing more but my goodness how can I seriously entertain a 22 month old for 6 hours in the morning, put her down for a nap and then entertain her for the remaining 5-6 hours of her afternoon before bedtime and still do the things I need to get done while also taking small breaks since I'm now 26 weeks pregnant!?

I know that I am not sitting around the house doing nothing. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I do dishes everyday and after every meal. I do a load of laundry almost everyday to stay on top of it or at least every other day. I grocery shop, I balance the check book. I've been working on our taxes, I vacuum, mop, change bed sheets, change diapers, pick up toys, color, sing silly songs, read books to Claire, take her to the Children's Museum at least once a week and try to get together for play dates. I also have doctor's appointments, make my hubby his lunches and all sorts of other things!

So why do I feel like I'm not doing enough for her? I'm thinking it may be a little anxiety about how things will be once our baby girl arrives in May. Things will be different. Will I have enough time? Will I give our girls enough attention that they need? I'm sure I will but like every parent you always have doubts and want to try to do your best for your babies.

I know things will work out, they always do in some way or another. I know I will be a great Mommy to both of our girls and I know I'm a good Mommy to Claire bear now I just want to be sure I do what's right for her and give her the love she needs every day! Being a Mom is so stressful and so rewarding at the same time!

Driving Away...

I was with Chris as a concert. I don't remember who was playing but we were there. It was at a park at night. After the concert we walked across the park to leave. There was a small building and we saw some of our friends inside. We went inside and Chris started talking to one of the guys. He said that they were going to go get the car and he would come back to get me unless I wanted to hang out with my girlfriends. I stayed with the girls. It was late and I was feeling tired. They wanted to go for a drive though. We got into this tiny truck and one of the girls started driving really fast. All of a sudden we were driving through the desert at night. One other the other girls asked if I had seen this circus show that was out there. I said no and told them I wanted to go home. They told me it wouldn't take long. We found the circus show and they got out. I said I would stay in the truck because I didn't want to be there. Once they got out the truck started rolling backward down a small hill/driveway. I hopped in the driver's seat and decided to leave them there. I drove back to the small building and got into bed. I fell asleep. I woke up panicked feeling like I needed to hurry and leave in case the girls walked back from the desert. One of the girls busted through the door and tried to punch me. She was screaming and moving in slow motion though so I dodged it and ran out the front door. I passed the other girls on the way out and they couldn't get to me either. I just kept running and running. I ended up in a neighborhood and had no idea where I was. I was running on all fours again like I've done in another dream. I remember thinking about that while I was running. I would grab onto the grass with my hands and pull myself forward faster. I ran across a baseball field. I was back in a different time. I saw Chris, Nick, and Lauren when they were a lot younger. They were sitting in the dug out watching a game. Sandy was there too. I went up to Sandy to ask her if I could have something. She looked at me and said, "I don't believe we've met before." I told her we will meet later and if I could have whatever it was that I was asking for. I can't remember what it is. She stared at me and smiled and said, "Of course, honey!". I took whatever it was she was holding and left. My dream ended.

A tough beginning to the new year...

This week has by far been the longest, toughest one. The Wold family lost a fantastic man. My father in law, Mark, fought a long battle of cancer and this Friday he lost his battle. I spoke with Sandy early in the week and was planning on Claire and I flying in this Friday to stay for a while to help her out with Mark while she was working. Things unfortunately progressed a lot faster then anticipated. Tuesday we got a call and were told that maybe we should try to come sooner and Chris should come too. Chris called his work and we were packed and ready to drive to Idaho that night. We attempted but it was raining like crazy, my windshield wipers sucked, visibility was questionable and I was having a bad feeling about our drive. We made it about two hours outside of Portland and decided to turn back around. We figured it would be better to book a flight for the next morning, no matter the price.

We were ready for the flight and I was feeling ok about it until we got to the airport. My anxiety kicked in and I just tried to not think too much about it. Chris hates flying more then I do and I could tell he was less the thrilled to be flying but at least we would be in Idaho sooner then later. Long story short, we flew over Boise but they were taking too long to plow the runway. We were on a holding pattern with five other flights in front of us waiting for clearance as well. We got to fly back to Portland and we got our refund. We could have gotten on the 3:15pm flight but after an anxiety attack and a terribly rocky flight we said to each other absolutely not. Thursday morning we left and it took us nine long hours but we finally made safely to Boise.

After a tough night with everything happening we attempted to get a little sleep. Throughout the night I kept waking up having intense braxton hicks contractions. About 5am I woke up and called the on-call physician to be safe and check if I should go in. I was told to keep drinking a lot of water but within twenty minutes had had at least four strong braxton hicks. They weren't painful, just extremely tight and kind of took my breath away. I went to labor and delivery to be safe. I told Chris to stay home because he needed to be there more then he needed to be with me. I knew everything would be fine and I would hate to take him away if something happened to his Dad and he wasn't there. I was contracting every four minutes and had to be given a muscle relaxer for my uterus. It slowed down. Everything else checked out ok. Lindsey's heart rate sounded great and I was negative for the possibility of going into pre-term labor within the next two weeks. My Mom came to be with me until I left and I was so happy to see her. I can't believe it had been a month since I had seen her. Everything since my hospital visit has been good and baby girl is still kicking around like crazy!

Sadly Friday night Mark lost his battle. There were a lot of mixed emotions for everyone there. Sadness, Anger, Relief. I mean relief in the best possible way. It was good to know he was finally pain free and in a better place without the cancer anymore. He was always a strong man and I'm very grateful I got to know him and to call him my father in law. Chris is like him in so many great ways!

Barmaid...

I'm working as a barmaid. I'm not pregnant in my dream. I look down and see I'm wearing a white ruffled off the shoulder shirt....the typical outfit I suppose. I'm serving people beer. Another barmaid tells me I need to drink this beer for some reason. There is a slanted rock path. The other barmaid starts to poor the barrel of beer down the pathway. We both get on the ground and start to drink it. I think to myself it tastes bad and like dirt. A man calls my name and I get up. He is a thin man in a black suit with black rim glasses. He puts his arm around me and tells me someone has won the competition. He seems unhappy and nervous. I ask him if it's bad. He tells me it is and that this man didn't need to win it. It's a lot of money and this man is already rich. We go into this small room to discuss the situation. There is another man in the room at a desk but I don't remember what he looks like. My dream ends.

Working at the vet clinic...

I was starting my job at the vet clinic. There were a bunch of puppies and they were so cute. I worked with a lot of women and I was told by someone that I had to be able to break a puppy's neck if I wanted to work there. It was just something that everyone had to be able to do. I was carrying around one of the puppies....it was white with brown spots. I kept looking at him and I knew I couldn't do it. I went into the break room and told them all I couldn't do it and wouldn't. They all shook their heads and said they couldn't do it either. I just stared for a minute and then asked them, "Well what if I would have done it? What would have happened?". They told me that I would have been the go to person for that and I would have had to break all of the puppy's necks. I was really grossed out and sad. My dream ended.

Snow day...kind of.

It's been snowing off and on today. After Claire and I ate breakfast I got her dressed so we could go step in the little bit of snow just in case the sun came out to melt it all away! Can you tell she's excited? Mickey Mouse had her hypnotized!

It almost looks like she's on the beach and the water is coming up to her feet!

Not much snow but she liked it!

It's cold!

It started to snow when we were getting ready to go inside. We stopped and I showed her how to stick her tongue out to catch some snowflakes! Great way to start our day!

It was nice to get some cold, fresh air this morning! We've been warm inside though the rest of our day! It's been nice to just relax and watch it snow!

Costco, diapers, brownies & tacos!

A couple days ago she wanted to read her book to me but it had to be on our bed. haha She made the animal noises to me and it was pretty funny!

She also had to show me her Fred Flintstone toy.

Super cute little cheesy smile!

This was semi-naked Friday. She allowed the diaper but not the clothes for a good part of the morning. It's so much more fun playing around in the nude.....well almost nude! I guess I should try this more often. ;0)

Another rainy day in Oregon today!! Chris had to work for a few hours so that left Claire and I to fend for ourselves for something fun to do. haha Actually it kind of felt like just another day of the week but I was happy he only had to work for a little bit.

We made our way to Costco. I've been needing to do this since we moved here but put it off until now. I bought diapers and baby wipes. Woohoo! I wanted to buy a whole bunch more but decided not to. We drove around in the rain and screamed in the car on the way home! She thinks it's pretty funny when I make loud noises and then she tries to do it back!

Lately miss Claire thinks it's also funny to try to get into her baby toys again. She has been carrying this around for a couple days now and loves to sit in it. She has tried to get into her bouncer and has asked to get up into the baby swing. I knew this would happen so I'm not really surprised but we are trying our best to help her understand she's a big girl and can't sit in the baby swing or baby bouncer. She's a goob!

She went down for a nap, Chris came home and I actually fell asleep for a little bit too. It was great. Chris got Claire up since I didn't hear her but she started crying a little bit so I got up. We made brownies together and that was fun! :) Since I'm still waiting on my sewing machine parts to show up in the mail I can't make her a little apron. I can't wait to make it though. She will be so cute!

My brother and Stacie came over for dinner! I made tacos and burritos! It was good but I wish I could have enjoyed a beer with them all. Almost...just a few more months. We are just relaxing at home now. Claire bear is in bed, my belly feels sore like it's stretching a little more. My hips are still acting up. I can feel them move separately when I roll in bed to try to sit up, ouch it hurts. I also have been experiencing some sciatic nerve pain too when I get up. It's pretty uncomfortable but I'm grateful it's not a constant pain.

Chris read it's supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow so I'm interested to see if we will have a white ground outside tomorrow morning! I have yet to see it actually snow this winter. It didn't snow at all in Idaho before we moved and nothing at all here either.

Welp, that's pretty much it for another update. I hope my dreams aren't too weird tonight. I can't remember what I dreamt about last night but I know I had a dream and when I woke up I kept thinking I needed to remember it. I forgot it probably 10 minutes later. Goodnight!

Dream 1:

I was shopping at Target for the girls' bathroom. I was walking up and down the aisles until I found the owl bathroom set. I was really excited. I know someone was with me but I'm not sure it was Chris. I bought it all and I couldn't wait to get home to put it all up. My dream ended.

I woke up and baby girl was moving around a lot.

Dream 2:

I can't remember what the dream is now. I kept thinking about it when I woke up but now I've forgotten. The one thing I remember in the dream was Chris's alarm was going off but it was a new one. My dream ended.

I woke up afterward and asked Chris if he changed his alarm. It really hadn't gone off, it was just in my dream.

My aching hips...

I feel like an old lady this afternoon. My hips feel so sore and my right leg feels the same. I took a nice warm shower and it helped a little. It's funny to say though that my body seriously looks like a road map!! I can see huge, blue veins on my belly. I don't remember them being that noticeable when I was pregnant with Claire but they probably were!

I am really excited to say that I ordered my replacement parts for my sewing machine. I broke a piece when I was trying to finish Claire's Halloween costume in October and haven't made anything since then!! Now I know what kind of theme I want for baby girl's room and I'm feeling antsy to look at fabric to make curtains, burp rags, and a car seat cover!

Claire and I had a great morning!! Since I have taken her on so many errands each morning this week I wanted to have a fun day for her. We went to breakfast together and shared a bagel!! I love bagels and she seems to love them as much as I do. We shared a blueberry bagel with lots of strawberry cream cheese! After that we headed to the children's museum to meet up with some new friends.

We've found a great friend and she's been very nice to include us in her group of friends. I am planning on going to one of the meet ups next week at one of their houses. There should be a group of girls all born within weeks of each other for Claire to play with! It will be so fun for her to have more little friends her age! Some get togethers can be so hard when the range of ages is so large that they're either too old or too young for her to really play with. I'm looking forward to hopefully not having to chase her around while I meet some new ladies as well!

This afternoon after Claire napped she played around in the living room. Then she went to the back door and kept saying, "Outside!?". I got her ready to go out since it was such a nice day again today and she played outside for about 10 minutes. I think she is really enjoying exploring the back yard. Her big, pink bouncy ball is outside and she loves to throw it around. I let her play by herself and checked on her just to remind her that I'm still there and I didn't just leave her. She was pretty happy and came inside after a short while. We relaxed the rest of the afternoon, watched some kid shows, I made dinner and Chris came home! She's such a sweet girl and I'm just so proud of who she is becoming!

I ordered our sweet girl a toddler bed this afternoon!! I've been looking around for a few days now and reading reviews and I think we've found a pretty good one for her! I also ordered a really cute new ladybug bed set too. I want her to be excited for a whole new bed and big girl bedding....it's nice too that her crib mattress and other sheets will fit this little bed! I hope the transition goes smoothly, she has adjusted so well to lots of changes so far! This is also exciting too that we can move the crib into baby girls room and start setting up for her arrival. I hope it's not confusing for Claire and that it won't upset her. I think starting now will give her lots of time to adjust before May.

I think tomorrow should be a pretty mellow Friday. It's laundry day and I'm hoping to conquer the four packed boxes left in the hallway!! I have put it off too long and we need to just get everything unpacked and in it's place. Let's hope there are enough places left. Haha. Goodnight world!

Western Days

I was a lot younger then I am now. I was about 12-13. It was back in the western days and my town was being raided. Lots of people were running and yelling outside of my house. My grandma (who is not really my grandma in real life) is in bed and I need to get her up and dressed. She has dementia and has soiled the bed. I try to get her dressed and ready but she makes it extremely difficult. There is a guy in the house (Jim from The Office). He is waiting for me to get ready so we can leave. I try to pay him for all of his help and he gives it back. He tells me I'm so young and have so much to deal with, he didn't want to take my money. I start to cry as I write a note to the next person that will take care of my Grandma. I write down that she has dementia and to take good care of her. My dream ends.

Finger painting fun!

This afternoon once Claire woke up I thought we needed to have a fun activity!! Most mornings the past few days we've been running errands, coming home for lunch, taking a nap and just staying busy at home! She needed a better activity! Nothing makes a toddler happier then being naked (well, almost) and getting messy!

So proud of herself and her messy hands!

Love my messy sweet girl!

She thought it was fun to step in and put on her toes!

I think most of the time she wanted to just squish her fingers in the paint instead of putting it on the paper! I'm glad she enjoyed herself. She even had fun in the tub afterward! I tried uploading a video but the darn thing won't work. I'll have to try it out another time.

Tomorrow we are heading to the Children's Museum! I think we've gone every week since we got our membership! We are meeting up with some Moms and toddler's that are Claire's age! It will be fun for her to meet new kids and it will be nice for me to meet new people!

I signed her up for a weekly toddler class at the Museum that starts next month! It's every Sunday morning and it's called "Messy Toddlers". She gets to have lots of fun getting messy and we get to meet lots more people! I'm trying to socialize as much as I can. I've signed up for a couple Mommy/Toddler groups online and may be going to one of the upcoming events next week. I'd have to double check what day it is though since I can't remember.

Baby girl has been moving like crazy today!! I'm worried she may be our wild child. Haha I know I can't tell that now just by her movements but she does move a lot. It's a great feeling and I love watching my belly poke out now when she pushes! I meet my new doctor for the first time next week and I'm wondering if we will schedule my c-section then or wait until we are closer to my due date. I don't necessarily like the idea of picking her birthday but we think it will be the best way to deliver her instead of attempting to go through labor just to have another c-section. It will be a little bit more convenient to tell family when they can come visit as well once she's born! No, that's not the reason for a c-section, it's just one of the benefits I suppose.

Well it's time to relax for the night and I'm looking forward to a good day tomorrow! I'm happy it's getting closer to the weekend! It's nice having Chris home on his days off, even if we aren't doing anything but spending time together at home! I miss him a lot during the day! Happy Wednesday night everyone!

Janelle and Cheating...

Dream 1:

I had a dream that I knew Janelle from the show Teen Mom 2. She asked me to come pick her up at this community center because her boyfriend, Kieffer, was back in jail. I was driving my VW bug and I went to pick her up but it took me a long time to find her. Once I found her she got into the car. I was really mad and told her, "Thanks for fucking me over, you fucked your life over again and guess what? You don't even have your loser boyfriend here because he got thrown in fucking jail again!" I was staying in a hotel after I dropped her off at home. I got into the shower and apparently she came to the hotel looking for her car keys. I had taken them because she had been drinking. My two gay guy friends said she was screaming and banging on the door. She had called me 11 times and left me a bunch of texts and voicemails. I tried calling her back. My dream ended.

Dream 2:

Chris came over to see me. For some reason we were sleeping in separate rooms. He kissed me goodnight and went to his room. I decided I wanted to stay with him so I changed my clothes and went to his room. When I walked in there he was lying on his bed already and was whispering into the phone. He looked like I caught him doing something wrong. He wouldn't get off the phone but I couldn't hear what he was saying. He was talking on a landline phone and was deleting things off of his phone. When I asked him who it was he was talking to he kept turning away and ignored me. My dream ended.

Summer time dreams...

Chris, my brother and I were all going swimming. It was summer time and I kept thinking about how excited I was to be in Florida. We were younger and in high school. We walked over to a pier and decided we wanted to get into the water by the pier. It was kind of swampy, lots of algae was in the water. We swam for a while and other kids our age were swimming by us too. We went back toward the beach and were in a cafe. A lot of my friends were wanting to talk to certain guys and wanted me to talk to them for them. I was too shy though.

A bunch of us were all joking around and then we stopped. There were some announcements on the television but I couldn't hear what was being said. Some guy came up to me and put his arms around my hips. I was nervous and didn't say anything. He then moved his arm up around my shoulders and then turned toward me. He asked me, "What do you want from me?" I felt scared when he asked me that. My dream ended.

Nap time means break time!

Claire bear is down for a nap. We have been on the move all morning!! We woke up at 7am, I made us gourmet bowls of cheerios after I made a lunch for Chris for his day! We ate, showered and got dressed. I emptied the dishwasher and loaded some dirty dishes in there, made the bed and picked up a little bit around the house. We stopped by Target to pick up some John Wayne DVD's for Mark, shipped a box at the post office and found a shared branch credit union since Capital Educators CU isn't in Oregon and we don't really want to switch banks. We headed to Winco to get some much needed groceries. Milk, bread, and eggs being the big things and I picked up a few snacks that will last us for a while.

Once we got back home I put everything away and made us some lunch!! I haven't eaten strawberries in quite a while because they are a little spendy this time of year. I splurged and we enjoyed a bunch of them with our three cheese spiral noodles! Mmmm! More dirty dishes were loaded up and the second load was started! My sweet girl was preoccupied with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while I sorted laundry and folded two loads of laundry I left in the basket over the weekend! Now she is down for her nap and I'm finally on the couch for a much needed break!

I'm 23 weeks pregnant with baby girl today! I think we may be close on a name for her but not sure. We have lots of time I suppose. It's fun to pick a name but so challenging at times to make a final decision. I think the name we have in mind is a good name. It's girly and can grow with her. It won't sound to little girlish when she's an adult and it doesn't sound too grown up while she's itty bitty!

Our afternoon isn't so crazy! I just need to vacuum and I'm making leftovers for dinner. I also have to start/finish/fold 3 loads of laundry but that's not too bad. Claire and I will do some fun activities together. Surprisingly enough she hasn't even colored today!! She colors every morning for the most part. I think we'll color and play with stickers. Well that's about it for this update! I'm looking forward to a good week!

Beaches and Scary Libraries...

Dream #1:

I was on an island. I kept having flashes of information about these different and strange creatures that lived on this island. Some looked like small dragons. Some looked like grey iguanas that didn't have eyes. They were all kind of scary looking. I saw a flash of a tree house and someone said it was over 200 years old. I wanted to find it so I could see what it was like up close. My dream ended.

Dream #2:

I'm in a class. There is a girl who acts like she knows everything, I think her name is Hazel. I'm sitting next to Kelsey Baxter. Hazel keeps saying things to us throughout the class and it really irritates us. I know Kelsey and I say some things back to her but can't remember exactly what it was. The next day she brings her Mom with her to the class. Her Mom starts teasing us and saying rude things. Kelsey asks her, "Are you even an adult? You sure don't act like one!" She mentions things about how I'm not confident in my work and it really offends me. I cussed her out and started yelling at her and told her to leave. My dream ended.

Dream #3:

I am in a library. It's really big. There are some other people around me. We are students. One girl and a guy are together. She is wearing an engagement ring. Everyone knows it's obviously fake. It's a big flowery looking thing. It's blue and pretty but not a real engagement ring. She shows everyone her ring and is acting so overly happy. Then she keeps asking anyone if they can go to her speech class for her because she wants to go show off her ring instead with her boyfriend. I asked her how long it was and she told me it was an hour long class. I start to head for the door and she says, "Oh yay, are you going for me?" I said, "No, why can't you just not go to your class? Why does someone have to go for you?". She doesn't say anything after that.

I end up in another part of the building. There is scary music and I keep thinking of the movie "Scary Movie". There is a girl who is sitting at a small desk. She is trying to write something down but I notice she is blind and crying. I ask her why she is crying. She tells me that her boyfriend has been cheating on her. I look up and the walls are glass. I can see someone entering through a door on the other side. I know that we need to get out of that room. The girl who had her fake ring starts to come into the room too. I grab the blind girls hand and start running for a door. The scary person we are supposed to run away from is coming right at us. I point at the girl with the fake ring and tell the scary person to go after her. The blind girl and myself make it out safely. My dream ends.

Dream #4:

I am at home (the one here in Beaverton). My Mom is laying on the couch and I'm sitting on the floor in the dining room. I hear a small click. I look up and realize the front door isn't locked. As I run to the door to hurry up and lock it it slams open as I try to hold it shut. Chris is on the other side. I can see him through the peep hole as I'm trying to hold the door. He is really angry and is yelling things at me. I feel really scared of him. My dream ends.

Another sweet baby girl!!

We are excited to know that for sure we are having another baby girl!! Our appointment was great this morning. We went thinking we would just get the quick gender scan that is in the description of the "package" we paid for but the ultrasound technician was being trained and asked if she could practice the 3D scan on me!! We got to see baby girl's face and her tiny fists up under her chin! They even gave us a DVD of it which is super neat. I hope Claire bear doesn't feel like we favored her baby sister....honestly we didn't go there for all of that stuff. It was a very good morning and I'm very excited to start getting more ready for our second bundle of joy!

Chris says he needs to invest in some guns now since we are going to have two girls. As far as we know right now we are done after two babies. I think two girls will be a lot of fun and a handful. hehe Especially when it comes to the teen years. Luckily for Daddy he won't have to really deal with the girly talks too much unless of course he wants to be a part of that. I doubt he will want to talk about periods with his baby girls though!

This afternoon I bought pink baby hangers and opened up the boxes of Claire's clothes we kept! I swear I smiled the whole time! It was so nice to look at all of the clothes again and remember times when Claire wore them! I'm sure I won't be able to help myself and will buy baby girl some new clothes of her own. I don't always want her to be stuck with hand me downs and I also want to be able to look back at baby pictures and see our girls in different outfits from each other.

The biggest thing we need to focus on now for our second baby girl is a name for her!! I'm not sure where to start yet and Chris hasn't suggested any names yet. We have plenty of time but it's comforting to know when you have a name picked! Can't wait for the day when we decide!

Prison Guard

I worked at a prison and all of the staff were women. It seemed like the inmates were younger kids, like a detention center or something. There was one boy, maybe 8 years old, I had to keep my eye on. He was there for something ridiculous I thought. He didn't do anything bad but I can't remember what it was that he did. He had a comfortable bed and satellite TV in his cell. He was telling how he was bored and didn't mean to do what he did. I told him to check certain channels and he said he did already but nothing was on. I had been there for a while and then it was time to meet up with my co-workers. There was a bunch of other girls. We had to walk through the halls to make sure everyone had been let go out of their cell for the day. I couldn't believe how empty it was and I mentioned that to them. They told me that at a certain time of the day they all get to go back home. My dream ended.

Waiting until tomorrow...

Tomorrow morning I have an ultrasound appointment for a gender scan! Can't wait to see baby bean on the screen again! I am also very excited to find out for sure if baby is another girl or a boy! Claire and I ventured to the Washington Square mall today and bought some baby clothes. One newborn baby boy outfit and one newborn baby girl outfit!! Once we know baby's gender I want to take a picture of the outfit and post it up!

The ultrasound that we are getting doesn't include a picture. I'm ok with that. It's only $75 and I just want to know one way or the other. I thought about the 3D/4D video pictures and video stuff but the packages are just so darn expensive. We didn't do anything like that when I was pregnant with Claire and I feel like it would be favoritism if we did it with this baby bean. Plus in just 4 short months (hopefully short) we can see baby bean in real life instead of in an ultrasound.

I think Claire enjoyed the shopping part. She kept handing me a bunch of outfits and kept saying "baby"! She also kept grabbing all of the baby bears and baby giraffes to hand to me! Haha Such a cute big sister!

I moved some things around in baby's room so it doesn't seem like such a huge disaster in there! We need to get rid of all of the broken down boxes but that will be another trip....hoping it will happen this weekend. I'm very excited to start shopping for baby beans room as well.

I found a really cute toddler bed for our big girl Claire at Babies R Us. It's only $90 and will look super cute in her room. We'll just wait a little bit longer before we buy it I think. Baby will be sleeping in our room anyway for a little while before we move him/her to their own room. Claire is still doing really well in the crib. I know we will need to make the transition sometime before baby arrives so we can get adjusted to her getting up out of bed. I'm pretty sure a baby gate will be bought as well for her bedroom door so I can have peace of mind that she won't be roaming the house freely and possibly hurt herself.

I got some super great news today....our old apartment has been rented out!! Woohoo. One less thing to stress about. I had mailed our rent check for January since we set it aside in savings for this particular reason. I got a voicemail last night from the property management company asking why we mailed a check in. I called this morning and I spoke with another lady who said I did need to mail the check in but we only owe for half of the month. The other renters will be moving in on the 15th!! She said she'll deposit the check and mail us back another check for the other half of the rent! Sweet deal. So happy to put that money back into our savings account!

Well it was a pretty good day. My hips have been hurting a lot which causes my legs to ache a little bit. I feel like I have growing pains. Baby is moving around a lot and I'm feeling a little winded when I bend over to pick up things off of the ground. Claire has been great! She's my little ham and loves to talk. She is always asking for Daddy during the day and says so many words now. I could attempt to type up all of the words she knows but it's just so many and I don't want to brag too much about our little smarty pants! Life is good right now and would be even better with our family here and a bit more sunshine during the day!

Not so sure

I can't remember my dreams from last night too well. I know I had two different dreams again and right when I woke up I kept trying to remember what had happened. I know in my first dream it was me and three Hispanic women and we were all hanging out in a very large house. For some reason I knew I was Hispanic also. My second dream I can't remember anything other then knowing that I did dream again. Strange!

Parties & Sleepovers

Dream 1:

I was in a house and going to have some of my girlfriends over for a party. We were all in our night gowns. There was an older man by the front door inside which is by a desk. He needed to go to bed and was disabled. I took him to his room to show him where he could sleep. I had to stand up in this desk type thing to turn off his light which was in front of a window. All of a sudden I hear another man outside of the window start singing "God Bless America". He was a homeless man on the corner with his dog, pointing at me and telling his dog to check me out. I was really confused. The man went to bed and some other lady came in to tell him that I couldn't spend the night. I thought that was strange too because I was having a party with my friends, not spending the night. My dream ended.

Dream 2:

I was at home (not one I've seen). One of my coworkers from the hospital just recently lost his daughter. Chris had to work that night so he told my co-worker to stay the night with me. Another guy from high school was there and was telling me he wishes he could leave the military so he could go home to see his Mom. He said he was going to find out later this afternoon if he could go or not. The guy stayed the night with my in and I talked to him about work. He was sad and told me a little bit about his daughter. Then he told me I needed to write some message on the white board and there was icing in the basket in the corner. I was confused and asked him, "What do you mean there is icing in the basket? Why?" He said some other co-workers put it there so we could leave messages. My coworker and I were at the dining room table in the morning. My brother was there and my coworker was telling him something funny. As he was laughing I could hear the guy I went to school with on the TV. He was crying saying the letter said he couldn't go home this time. He told his Mom he loved her and soon he would come to see her. Chris got home and we sat at the table. My dream ended.

What a busy Wednesday...

Pushing her cow pillow in her grocery cart!! Love our gooby girl!

Today was a pretty good day!! The morning started out really good. Claire and I had our first play date since we've moved. We met another March 2010 mommy and her little girl who is only a day older then Claire. It was so fun seeing them together. They liked to keep doing their own thing for the most part but occasionally played together. Funny girls! It was a nice morning outside and nice to get out of the house for a couple hours. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and making friends here.

We made our way home after we ate lunch at the Children's Museum. Claire passed out in the car and usually does well with transferring from car to crib to finish a nap but apparently she needed to tell her baby doll all about her morning. She talked and talked and talked to her for at least ten minutes straight before she started calling for me. I got her up for about an hour until she was tired again. I was starting to not feel very well. I've had a lingering headache today and it makes me feel nauseous. Blah. I was able to nap for an hour while Claire did so I felt a bit better after that.

Our afternoon was busy. I finished three loads of laundry and emptied the dishwasher. Claire watched TV for a little bit while I cleaned the bathrooms and vacuumed the house. It was gloomy and rainy this afternoon so we didn't make it outside to go for a walk to the mailbox or anything. I just walked there myself really quick while Claire watched me from the front window. She thinks it's funny when I stand in the front yard and wave to her. Haha. Easily entertained....just like me I guess! We colored a lot at the kitchen table. She seriously loves coloring. Every single day we color for at least an hour or two throughout the day! We listened to some toddler songs and worked on a puzzle. I'd say it was a very productive afternoon.

I made leftovers for dinner since I've had this headache off and on today. Claire of course made a mess all over the table with her applesauce so I decided I needed to get some place mats for her so it can be an easier clean up for me when she's done. I made my way to my favorite store, Target!! Claire stayed at home with Chris so that was a nice. I found some cute puzzles for her that were on clearance and a couple heart shaped place mats. I also bought the movie "Horrible Bosses" for Chris and I. That movie was super funny so I'm excited to watch it with him again sometime this week. Just not tonight since I feel nauseous again with this darn headache. I think it's time for some relaxation time for this Mommy!! Gonna go take a warm shower and be a blob for the rest of the night! Goodnight world...onto dreamland so I can type something up in the morning. I'll actually keep my laptop by the bed so I don't forget my dreams!

On a Bus

I can't remember my full dream from last night since I didn't write it down right when I woke up. I just remember being on a city bus riding around. I was holding something in my hand but I don't know what it was. I remember it was a really long dream. Maybe more will come to me throughout the day.

Nothing..

I don't have any dreams that I can remember from last night. When I woke up this morning I felt like I slept like a rock and was in a really deep sleep.

Dogs & Swings

Dream #1:

I was in the car with my parents. I'm sitting in the back passenger side seat behind my Dad. I think we are waiting for a parking spot so we can go see a football game. There must be a lot of people but I can't see out of the front windshield. A large lifted truck with a lot of people in it drives passed our car. I see it park a little ways to the right of us. There is a huge long haired dog standing in the bed of the truck. I look to my parents and tell them to look at the large dog. They keep looking in the wrong direction and I have to tell them twice to look to the right. When we look at the dog it's down in the parking lot. Now it looks like a huge rottweiler and has a tiny rottweiler on it's back. My Mom thinks the small one is the cutest dog and tells me I need to get a Chinese Pekinese just like it.

We must have parked because I'm climbing up this hill with Claire. It doesn't seem that steep but once we get to the top the edges seem really steep. My grandparents are up there and other people I can't see. It seems to me they've been waiting for us to get up there so we can watch the football game. Claire starts running around and gets to edge. She stops as I'm running after her. I grab her, hold her and tell her that she terrifies me. My dream ends.

Dream #2:

I am going with my friend, Shane to his grandparents house. He just recently lost his job and only has a little bit of money left until he runs out. His grandparents want us to help them build a wooden swing set so he can earn a little bit of money. His grandpa (who isn't even one of his grandpa's in real life) has built the wooden frame. Shane keeps sitting around and I keep waiting for him to finish it because I really want to swing.

I have a flash back from the night before. I was there for a BBQ and I saw a lot of people from my work, school, and other places. It was so busy, so many people talking that I actually didn't talk to anyone. I'm back from my flashback and Shane still isn't doing anything to the swing set. His grandma keeps talking to him about the money they are going to give him. Every time she starts to say she's worried about him doing drugs the words for the drugs she's talking about are silent. I can hear everything else except the names of the drugs.

I go inside and Chris is inside the house. Some of Shane's small cousins are inside and I am trying to keep on eye on them. They keep running around and screaming while holding bowls of cereal. One of them spills it all over the kitchen floor. I tell them they need to stop making a mess. One of the small boys hits me so I grab his arm and take him to a time out spot. I tell him to sit down. He starts crying. I notice more of the lights in the house turn on now and a few other adults are there now. They are all upset that I put him in time out. I told them I would not let a kid hit me and not do something about it. He is fine and he can sit in time out for a little bit.

I'm back in the backyard and it feels like a different time of day. The wooden swing set still isn't finished. I'm sitting there and two women come outside from the house. One is a girl I went to high school with and another is a co-worker from the hospital I worked at in Nampa. My co-worker comes over toward the deck and tells me she's sorry we didn't talk at the BBQ the night before. She told me she's been feeling crummy but she also feels really lucky. Her and her husband are trying for another baby. She climbs up onto the deck and comes over to me. She starts rubbing my arms as if I will give her more good luck for getting pregnant. I tell her it's ok that we didn't talk the night before, I understand it was so busy. My dream ends.

Dream Journal-Pools and popcorn

My new year's resolution is to write down (or type) my dreams I have that I can remember. Here is last nights:

Dream #1:

I was walking through the mall, one I've never seen before. I over hear someone talking badly about my Mom. I walk into the store and see who it is. I recognize the person and start yelling at them telling them how ungrateful they are and that my Mom does so much for them. My dream ends.

Dream #2:

I was in a house with a pool in the living room. It was covered with tile except for one small spot. There was something that I had to find in a certain amount of time to plug into this one particular spot so I could open the pool up. If I didn't find it then the ducks would die. I magically had the piece in my hand and looked down to plug it in. I do that and start to peel the tile back. The ducks jump in. I look up from the pool and there is an old lady wrapped in a robe with a blue face looking at me. I feel scared at first but then realize she isn't someone to be scared of. I ask her to come over to the pool but she walks away down the hallway. I go after her and walk upstairs to the second floor. I see another old woman laying in a pile of blankets eating some kind of food. I think to myself, "She must have Alzheimer's" and keep walking up to the third floor. This floor is my room. I have a roommate and it's my best friend, Sarah. I keep looking around the room and outside thinking to myself that it's going to be so nice for us to move and not live on the third floor anymore. I am sitting on my bed when Sarah comes up the stairs after a little bit. I flipped off the end of the bed and fell on the floor and thought how embarrassing that was. I'm laying there and she points to her side of the room to her bed. She has a popcorn machine there and asked me if I thought it was cool. She had just gotten it. I agreed that I liked it.