Kellyn is 7 weeks old! How the time has flown by. Things are still getting better each week!! I feel bad that things have been so much harder this time around. I know it's not something I can control though. I know that after Claire was born it was such a drastic life change also but I remember adjusting better and it was so nice have all of our family close by to come over any time we needed help! This time around was great right at first and then after coming home it seemed to be much more difficult then I had anticipated. I know it wasn't just for me either, it was hard for Chris and Claire also.
This time my baby blues have turned into post partum depression. I'm not embarrassed to say it because it's just a part of what can happen after someone has a baby! I think a lot more women have it then they'd like to admit but I'm not willing to be miserable just so I can say that I don't have it...even though I do. I want the help so I can really enjoy my girls and not have those thoughts of wanting to just walk out of my house when my stress level is through the roof and they are both crying for me. I haven't thought that often but just the fact that it went through my mind bothers me. I know I wouldn't just walk out and leave them alone but there is always that possibility of it happening if I didn't ask for help and just let the depression get out of control. Almost 2 weeks later of the lowest dose of medication I feel like myself. I feel happy, I feel more calm, I can handle it when the girls are crying either one at a time or at the same time. I don't feel angry, I don't feel like I'm snapping at Claire anymore and I have so much more patience. I feel like I am able to function better so I can actually do fun activities with her while Kellyn is sleeping. I've talked to a counselor twice about everything and it's helped to just talk to someone with an outsiders point of view. Things are going in a positive direction and I knew it would once I asked for the help!
Something I'm looking forward to is the fact that I want to get into shape. Not for a certain number on the scale (although that will be a benefit) but to feel and be healthier! Also the place I'm going to check out tomorrow has a great childcare place and I will be able to take both girls there. I could go every day if I wanted to and know that my girls are being taken care of for even just an hour while I do something for myself. I think it will work out well!
I have had a good week with the girlies!! We went on a play date to Oaks Amusement Park. Claire rode a couple rides and it was so nice outside! Here she is in the stroller before we got into the park.
Here is Kellyn behind her big sis! lol
After the amusement park we had lunch with my friend Jen and her daughter, Eleanor, who is the same age as Claire. The girls had fun running around. Another friend of ours, Heather, joined us with her son, Jackson, who is a year older then the girls I believe! It was a really great day and Claire got to burn up a lot of energy!!
The next day we had a more relaxed day! She painted car shapes with watercolors and we taped them to the sliding glass door!
Love our little artist!!
Bright eyed and bushy tailed little peanut!!
It was another beautiful day outside so Claire bear and I enjoyed popsicles while Kellyn napped outside with us!
Too bad her nap didn't last for very long but she did enjoy being outside getting some fresh air!
Mmmmm orange!
Oh she has such an attitude and is definitely a typical 2 year old girl!!
Kellyn wasn't very happy with me at the moment!
She wanted to rest on me for a little while!
And then that made her mad too!!
We went inside and popped some popcorn and put a movie in.
Kellyn snuggled with us for a little bit!
She surely is adorable and a tiny peanut!!
It's Friday now and as always I look forward to the weekend! I'm glad things are going in a good direction. Thanks to anyone who reads my blog...I don't think a lot of people see it but maybe someone will who is experiencing ppd and know that it's nothing bad. Obviously nobody wants to feel this way after the cutest little bundle has arrived but it happens. Why be miserable if you don't have to be and it's nice to know I could ask for help!
I am so thankful for my husband for all of his support too. He probably thinks I've lost my mind and I should be in a nuthouse but that's ok. haha I know I can kid around about it even though it is something real and can be very serious. I know I need to feel better and more like myself so we can work as a team better. I know he's had a lot going on too with Kellyn being born, working full time to provide for us, helping with both girls and a feeding each night with peanut on top of helping me cope with what's going on. He saw me pretty much fall apart and cry a lot in the past month and a half. I'm sure he had no idea what to do but just the fact that he's here everyday supporting me emotionally makes all the difference in the world! I love him!
